you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
