Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize