Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
