my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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