Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
