Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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