Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
