Small penises have feelings too.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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