Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize