I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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