Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
