Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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