I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
