Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
