he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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