can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
