Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
