threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
