new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
