Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
