I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
