i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
