"it" just moved
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
