I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
