I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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