Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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