We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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