your room smells of hookers.
And success
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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