Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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