wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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