I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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