The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
