and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
