I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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