You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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