I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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