You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
