What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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