I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
