and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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