Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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