im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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