4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
