the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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