i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
