I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
