I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
