i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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