no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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