And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
