Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
