Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
