Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
