the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
