So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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