he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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