i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
