respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
