she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
