I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
