I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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