I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
