y did u give ur computer a hand job?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
