i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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