Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
